Individual Counseling
I see older adolescents and adults wanting help with a variety of issues, including depression, anxiety, grief, and relationship concerns. Sometimes people come to me because they are feeling stuck, unsure of how to reach for the things that they know would make their lives better. I also work with people who have survived significant trauma and abuse as adults or children.
In therapy, I work with clients on the important tasks that create change:
One, is the goal of thoroughly understanding of you, and the important relationships and events that have shaped you into the person you are. Research tells us that the act of telling one’s story to a person who listens with compassion and without judgment is an enormously powerful form of healing. It helps people to calm themselves and improve their mood.
Two, is the goal of cultivating a mindful perspective in the present moment about your life circumstances. Learning to watch how your thinking impacts the way you feel emotionally and physically is important. Cultivating insight, the ability to name your emotions, and notice the physical sensations that certain thoughts and feelings cause has been shown in research to greatly increase people’s health and well-being.
Three, is the goal of using mindful awareness to communicate more effectively with people in their lives. Using a mindful perspective makes speaking your truth to people so much easier. Clients are often surprised at the unprecedented positive responses they get from the people in their lives when they communicate with mindfulness and authenticity. This is one of my favorite things to witness with my clients.
Couples counseling
A good couples’ therapist does something much more difficult than simply decide who’s right and who’s wrong, or help people find a compromise that does not really make either partner fully satisfied. A good couples’ therapist helps each person to understand what yearnings, unmet needs, and differing values lie at the heart of their conflict. I provide a safe place, and a safe process, to discuss issues that either get avoided or are “too hot to handle” at home. My goal is to help couples move past all of the confusing details of their struggle, into the heart of the matter, where the truth can be spoken, and conflicts can be resolved, often in unexpected ways.
I am particularly influenced by the very practical work of John Gottman, Ph.D., and his long-term research regarding the science of marital communication patterns, and by Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, which was developed by Dr. Susan Johnson and Dr. Les Greenberg. EFCT’s efficacy is well-supported by research, and fits well with my belief that when two people who genuinely love each other can fully hear and understand one another, they will surprise themselves with lasting solutions to their conflicts.
It can be really hard to come to terms with the fact that some aspect of your relationship isn’t working, and to seek outside help. Often, the events leading up to the decision to seek therapy can be painful, and it can take some courage to share the intimate details of your relationship with someone you don’t know well yet. And yet, based on my experience as a therapist, I have a lot of hope for couples who decide to seek counseling. I see many couples come out of this process holding their relationship and their partner more dear than ever before. I also see that the growth that comes from doing this work with a partner ripples outward, improving people’s other significant personal and professional relationships.
Adoption counseling
Even if your primary reason for getting counseling has to do with another concern, if your life story involves adoption, it is helpful to have a counselor who has an understanding of the impact of adoption on your experience.
I have personal and professional experience with adoption. I know how complex the adoption experience can be-the confusion, loyalties, worries, yearning … and the love. I understand the common feelings and dynamics that arise from adoption, and I respect the uniqueness of each individual’s experience. No two stories of adoption are the same. I can help you make sense of yours, and figure out an approach to your situation that is right for you.
I work with birth parents of any age, and with adult and older adolescent adoptees. I work with people in open adoptions, those contemplating a search, and those working with reunion issues. I work with couples who have experienced infertility and are contemplating adoption, and adoptive parents of children of any age. I also have experience working with gay and lesbian adoptive parents.